creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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