i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Never underestimate the power of titties
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
