My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
time to smoke my breakfast
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
