everyone is single if you try hard enough
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
