what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
