And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
