i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
