omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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