Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
