She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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