Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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