every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
