Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
