Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
