is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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