I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
