You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
