Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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