I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Enjoy the penises
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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