Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She told me I should be a condom model.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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