You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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