I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
