the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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