I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
