I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
