just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
