the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
