But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
