my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
