My room smells like vodka and shame
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
