i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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