I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
