His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
