thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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