I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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