i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
