i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
