so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
