I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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