where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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