This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
