I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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