ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
