SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
