I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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