today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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