ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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