please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
