I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
