I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
