Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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