He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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