no, he came in my armpit
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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