So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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