But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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