Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
