so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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