for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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