Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
